When I hear community and relate it to WIITWD, what comes to mind is a mish mash of people, groups and events that try to cater to everyone’s desires, fetishes and needs while staying silent about them. You can go to a munch where ever you are and find someone that doesn’t feel in the right place. It could be yourself.
The BDSM Community is different wherever you go. I have seen first hand the casual munches, the light protocol dinner, and once a very strict lunch. I found the casual munches most comfortable. There was no pressure to even talk BDSM and while I love an inviting conversation on the value of certain knots, it was good to know that we didn’t have to.
I think lately the BDSM Community is getting a bad name for itself. I’ve watched the groups and chat room, lists and forums as they go on about bad groups, bad experiences and loathsome leaders. I strongly feel that a community is comprised of its people and of those people, every single one has a responsibility to see that the group live up to whatever it is they want it to be. Now, don’t get me wrong, some of the most interesting people I’ve met were the ones hiding in the shadows, away from the others. These are the jewels. They don’t feel welcome, or are uncomfortable. They sometimes are just there to assure themselves that they aren’t freaks.
Ah, but the freaks are quite intelligent indeed!
The topic here is should you join community and if you do what do you get out of it? I’m not against community, but I do feel that one community may not be right for some where it may bring others to thrive. Some people yet do so much better alone and draw their strength from learning from themselves. I am more a people person. The more people I can glean information off of the better I become. I love watching and receiving knowledge from others and can marvel at how much I just don’t know.
Simply, you get out of community what you put into it. If you sit away from others and don’t converse, you will feel ousted and shied from. If you sit in the middle of it all, talking and learning when you can (even if it happens to be last night’s game scores) you will feel welcomed.
And now the questions:
- Do you consider yourself part of a community?
- Would you recommend others joining a community or munch group?
- What is a bad experience you had or witnessed at an event/group?
- What is a good experience?
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