The Thinking Dominant

There are 2 different sects out there; those that believe there is a trueness to themselves and what they do and those that believe that trueness is a state of mind.

Those that believe they are practicing true D/s and BDSM almost always say that what they do is right and if you deviate even a little, then you are doing it wrong. You find it a lot of the time on online groups and mailing lists and occasionally at munches and other gatherings as well. They frown upon different expressions of what you are and how you define yourself, they despair against submissives not being submissive enough and Doms not being treated as they ’should’.

The other side practically fully embrace the idea that whatever it is that you do, as long as you adhere to some form of safety and decorum that it is right and good. Expectations are personal and individual and they rarely ever ‘preach to the choir’ about how their way has to be the only way.

If you can’t tell, I am of the second strain. I feel that you are who you are, you can do as you desire and if there is not rhyme or reason to it, but it makes you happy then what harm is there? The submissive can use proper English when speaking of herself, she can cap her nick if I so desire and there is no deciphering the horrible jargon of ‘T/they feel that Y/you are not doing it right if I/i don’t have slashes every other word’. My submissive may not have to call you Sir if I so desire. She is after all following my command and that is the greatest honor I can ever have.

I do not wish to lord over all that is good and strong in the community. There lyes a grand mantra of safety, a net of protection for those new; if they know where to look and I feel that this lifestyle has a higher respectable core of people. This is not to say that we can’t be fleeced or that there is no danger from the outside or worse yet from the inside. But where is the trueness of oneself if all is defined in a manual of how to do this and that the right and only way?

Thoughts:

• What if any, are the supporting comments on being a true Dom?
• What are the thoughts behind the second type of person? Can you be whatever you design without a trueness?
• Without getting deep into it, are Old Guard lifestyle persons more true than those of modern making?
• Are you being true to yourself first and then regarding the order of things second or the other way around?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 31st, 2007 at 12:43 pm and is filed under Internal Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.