Ah, it’s that time of year again… where men run around at the last moment buying roses at jacked up prices and those cliche teddy bears with chocolate hearts. Women swoon and go all crazy over the slightest romantic moment. Now it may seem that I’m a bit against Valentine’s Day; don’t get me wrong, it’s great for those who can’t express themselves the rest of the year. I on the other hand have no problem telling my girl exactly what she means to me whenever I want to.

The D/s lifestyle has a few cards up its sleeve when it comes to romance though. Can you be romantic and still be D/s? How is romance expressed? And even bigger, what about love? Today’s topic is all about that four letter word. Within the confines of the relationship I find it quite necessary to have an emotional connection to my partner. In past relationships I cared deeply for the one I was with. Could it have been love? Possibly, but more likely not.

Each relationship is going to be different, but from experience I can say that romance is definitely possible in a D/s relationship. It can be all the similar things that you hear/see in vanilla society but it can also have D/s connotations. For example, the giving of a collar is not only very D/s but it can be romantic; a setting of commitment for each within the relationship.

Essays on Love, romance and D/s 

D/s vs. Romance in Marriage 

On Love and D/s

Now the thoughts:

• Is love a part of your dynamic? How do you express it?
• Can you be in a M/s or D/s relationship without love? Explain your views.
• How is romance the same/different within the power exchange?
• If you could write a letter telling your partner exactly how you feel, what would be in it?

Mentoring in this lifestyle is a topic of varying opinions; much like everything else. Tops volunteer to mentor bottoms, submissives with other submissives and then you have the people that are self declared mentors that will take on anyone that has the desire.

Albany Power Exchange essay says, “A Mentor is a guide, a teacher, an advisor and is also, in a way, a protector, though that needs explanation. A Mentor can be a trusted friend, a recommended source of basic information and there are some definite guidelines about mentoring that I’ve found most folks don’t understand very well.” With this thought, a mentor can be anyone you trust to not steer you wrong in your choices when you are first starting out.
There are several essays online right now supporting or conflicting with benefits. Take a look at the following articles.

Mentors 

Mentoring in the Lifestyle

Mentors: Good or Bad? 

Now, on with the questions:

• What are your thoughts on mentors?
• Have you been a mentor to someone? What sorts of guidelines did you follow? How did it go?
• Would you recommend your submissive to have a mentor before or while your relationship with them is in its early stages?
• Can mentors corrupt the thoughts of a new person? How can someone protect themselves?
• Is there a difference between a trainer and a mentor? What is that difference?