Teaching
Who “teaches”? Take for example the submissive is more experienced than the dominant. Can the sub teach from the bottom? Should the Dom look to other Doms? Perhaps finding a mentor or start at the bottom?
Comments (8) 8 Comments»
Quickies
January 13, 2009
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL
i would love to know the answer to this. i am kind of in that situation. i don’t want to teach him because then i am the top.
Raise your dominant in the way he should go and he will return to it. Its a customization process. You will get out what you put into it. If they have dominant tendencys they will come out with some direction and hints. But just cause you love them or are in a relationship does not mean they can be a good top. Many submissives I know end up teaching subtlety and respectfully their partner. It all in how you approach it. If you have to get to far out of your comfort zone its probably not going to work.
I agree with both of you to an extent..I am a Dom/Master who mentors. Thnk about it if u fall in love with a man or women does the man come with a degree in lovemaking or the woman? Can the both of you teach withut putting a label on top or bottom..Yes a sub or a slave can teach if she is able to d it wth subtlety and respect wthour reservation and without getting outside both comfort zones and still alow the master to be the master and the sub to be the sub. Remember we all come with a talent and experiences that may overshadow the oter person..it is how we approach our mates, partner, husband, wife, Master/Dom, sub r slave….
I learned the majority of what I know at “the feet” of an amazing slave who had been in the life an extremely long time. Today I will often sit down with a couple of submissives and ask the question, “what makes a good Master?” I’ll listen to their answers, join in their conversations, and I will allow my slave freedom to speak her mind and her heart without fear of punishment. It is a very eye opening experience and my girl knows I love her enough to want to be a better Master to her and in doing so open her up to being the best submissive/slave she can be. Can we learn “at the feet” of a good submissive/slave? I answer that with a resounding, YES!!!
Excuse me, but this makes no sense to me. Protocol seems to indicate that the student can not teach the Teacher. That is simply a disfunction of the very nature of the roles. Given that certain personalities may pre-dispose one to be either Dominant or submissive, how may a true Dominant allow His servant to dictate to Him His actions; either positively or negatively? It would seem to me that the outcome of such folly would result in the servant creating a Master in it’s own image, rather than the other way around.
The beginning, or teaching period is critical for establishing order and control. Any kindergarten teacher can tell you this much. If the Teacher is taking His clues from the student, it is the student who is in control, leaving one to wonder just when the Master becomes the Master. Is it when the servant informs Him He is now fit to lead? This should be glaringly apparent to anyone who considers themselves to be the Head of a household.
I have to disagree with this last commenter and feel that such thoughts are the product of too narrow a view of our roles and relationships. The is no one “true way” and no cookie-cutter template to follow as “dominant” and “submissive.” Among us, our roles and protocol are as different as we are and, while we may be predisposed to one role or the other, predisposition doesn’t teach us how to function within the framework of power exchange. Instinct can only take us so far. We all need to learn….and at some point can find ourselves in the roles of both teacher and student.
Learning is a process and teaching can be active or passive – i.e., through discussion and suggestions or by example. I think what would be folly is to discount a potential source of learning and growth simply because you feel it upsets the “natural order.” We exist in a symbiotic relationship. Learning from a submissive doesn’t diminish a dominant in any way nor does it elevate the submissive in the relationship or shift the power balance if care is taken by both parties.
Perhaps the only thought I would agree with here is that when a submissive teaches their dominant there is a danger of the submissive inadvertently molding the dominant and influencing the development of the dominant’s identity. I think for a dominant learning their way (or any of us, really) the best policy is to seek out a variety of sources and perspectives.
Dion,
i have to respectfully disagree with you — especially with the wording of ‘true’ dom or sub. while there are many things that D/s relationships hold in common — there is no set in stone pattern of it.
if my Master wants to top me wearing black leather and someone elses’ Master tops them in micky mouse shorts…and someone elses’ in a hawaiian shirt…then that is just fine.
i don’t suddenly say, but a true ‘dom’ would wear the leather….
Dom…sub..we’re just people in the end and we all do things uniquely.
Any good teacher, of any subject, MUST be a better student than a teacher. One must learn from every moment and experience- as much as one can. One must learn to learn, and learn to teach. Any one who does not try to learn from EVERY OTHER LIVING BEING is not living up to their potential as humans. How can one claim Mastery and not continuously strive towards their full potential?
That old saw about “The best Tops started out as bottoms” does not mean that they actually started out as bottoms.
Let’s refocus it: “The best Teachers started out as students.”
Here’s the part they wouldn’t tell you: The best Teachers are STILL STUDENTS – And Always will be.