If you were to instruct your submisisve to create an area or space (something akin to an “altar”, for lack of a better word!) to demonstrate his or her devotion to you, what would you like to see included in such a space?  Assume this construct is kept private.

Is love different in D/s relationships compared to vanilla ones?

Do Dominants and submissives love differently?

Have you experienced submissives falling in love faster than Dominants?

Are there types of love in D/s?

How do you handle misbehavior in public? Do you consider discreet but immediate chastisement or do you punish later in private? How is the punishment responded to? What are your favorite forms of discipline to correct bad behavior?

Many submissives say they have no limits, but what does that really mean to a dominant? How do you feel when a submissive comes to you and says they have no limits? Do you test them right away? Do you try to show them the error of their ways? In your experience can submissives really have no limits, or does it just mean that your limits are compatible with theirs?

How about slaves? How do they differ when it comes to limits?

I have noticed a trend of higher levels of manners and chivalry amongst kinky peoples.

• What does chivalry mean to you?
• Do you have rules of manners and etiquette for your submissive?
• Who holds doors, orders food and handles money?
• What importance is ettiquette for your dynamic?

The right to vote, a privilege to everyone in the US.  To those in a D/s relationship, it may have been gifted along with the submissive.

• Will you be voting today?
• Do you allow your submissive to vote?
• Are they able to vote for themselves or do you tell them who to vote for?
• Why do you feel this is a sensitive topic amongst the community?

Is Love necessary in a D/s or M/s relationship? If love isn’t necessary, what is the glue to the relationship?

What other things are important ingredients to a relationship?

Sometimes it just doesn’t work out and D/s relationships come to an end. This isn’t unusual, but how things end can affect us greatly.

• How do you deal with the end of a relationship that didn’t end well?
• Do you have any rituals or rites of passage to signify the end of the collar?
• What do you do with the collar? Is it clensed and reused or do you discard it in some way?

Ah, it’s that time of year again… where men run around at the last moment buying roses at jacked up prices and those cliche teddy bears with chocolate hearts. Women swoon and go all crazy over the slightest romantic moment. Now it may seem that I’m a bit against Valentine’s Day; don’t get me wrong, it’s great for those who can’t express themselves the rest of the year. I on the other hand have no problem telling my girl exactly what she means to me whenever I want to.

The D/s lifestyle has a few cards up its sleeve when it comes to romance though. Can you be romantic and still be D/s? How is romance expressed? And even bigger, what about love? Today’s topic is all about that four letter word. Within the confines of the relationship I find it quite necessary to have an emotional connection to my partner. In past relationships I cared deeply for the one I was with. Could it have been love? Possibly, but more likely not.

Each relationship is going to be different, but from experience I can say that romance is definitely possible in a D/s relationship. It can be all the similar things that you hear/see in vanilla society but it can also have D/s connotations. For example, the giving of a collar is not only very D/s but it can be romantic; a setting of commitment for each within the relationship.

Essays on Love, romance and D/s 

D/s vs. Romance in Marriage 

On Love and D/s

Now the thoughts:

• Is love a part of your dynamic? How do you express it?
• Can you be in a M/s or D/s relationship without love? Explain your views.
• How is romance the same/different within the power exchange?
• If you could write a letter telling your partner exactly how you feel, what would be in it?

This is going to be a relatively basic thought process this time. I have a few essays I’ve found on the topic of finding and keeping a partner. Most of which have good advice in them, others appear to be common sense. Take the time to read however many of these essays that you wish, taking note of the important bits and then formulate the answers to these questions.

Attracting and Keeping a Partner by BlueDeacon

Choosing a Master/Mistress by TorqueDom

Dating in the Lifestyle by luna[KM]

Dominant/submissive Relationships by Sergeant Major

D/s vs. Vanilla Relationships by SoulThief

Questions:

• What information did you find most important to you?
• Did they miss anything that you feel is necessary to point out?
• Do you agree strongly with one person or another?
• When you think of your partner, or your ‘finding’ tactics, what have you learned?